Question

My son has an allergy to peanuts. He is 2 years old. How do I
help him understand that he cannot eat what other children are eating? I
don’t want to be one of those “mother hen” kind of parents that watch over
their child too closely but I’m scared.

Answer

Well understandably you’re scared! And for good reason, peanut allergies are one of the most deadly due to the toxins that peanuts emit. I say this not to frighten you, but you mention that you are having to explain to him that he cannot eat what his friends are eating…I hope his friends are NOT eating peanuts in any fashion around him. Peanut allergies are largely progressive, in that the more often that he is exposed to peanuts the higher his allergen level increases. If you have not already asked your allergist to perform a RAST test to check his IgE levels it may be a good idea, that way you know what ball park you are in. The RAST will give a levels rating from 1-6, with 6 being the highest. level 1 and 2 are considered mild cases, but 3 and above you may find that being the mother hen is what you will unfortunately need to be!

I support mother hens, personally! Especially when our children are so young and cannot yet verbalize specific symptoms. At 2, it may be diffficult for him to identify which foods may or may not have peanut products, so you need to make it clear to everyone who interacts with him what foods are safe. Even the most miniscule amount of an allergen can send an allergic child into a reaction, so you protect him to the best of your ability, regardless of what others may think. These allergies are increasing at such a fast rate that by the time your son makes it to preschool, the preschool will probably be peanut-free so you may not have to be such a mother hen.

In reference to explaining to him that he cannot have what others are eating, here is what worked for me, and the members of my support group when our children were about 2: We taught our kids that peanuts were bad and gross! Yuck! They will make us sick if we eat them! EWW who would want to eat peanuts?! ( laughingly, like we knew something other people didn’t!)…..We took this route because at 2, they are wanting to fit in, and not feel different. So, we instilled a level of confidence in them that they are too good to eat peanuts. I know this sounds funny, but what I wanted to avoid with these children was that sense of fear and insecurity with being different. I want our children to proud of who they are, regardless of their allergies. And I must say it has worked! Now, at 4 my daughter and the children in our support group are able to explain to others their allergies, and what will happen if they accidently eat the food they are allergic to. Additionally, they are so much more confident than the children who are raised via the fear method. To this day, they still laugh and snicker when they see someone eating those gross peanuts!

So, I hope this helps and please feel free to ask if you have any more questions!

April